Bunraku

Bunraku trailer

This artsy, stylized, star studded, action movie caught me of guard when I first started watching in it.  I thought I was watching a new violent remake of Westside Story (minus the singing).

The movie takes place after of global war of some kind and soon after, all guns were banned.  So the ways of the fist and sword returned to style.  Ron Perlman plays Nicola aka “The Woodcutter” (he prefers axes to swords), the most powerful warlord/crime boss on the east coast.  He has wronged a lot of people but none more than “The Drifter” played by Josh Hartnett and “Yoshi” played by Gackt.  Both have vowed revenge on Nicola but they will have fight their way through an army  of Nicola’s gangs with different fighting styles and are run by numbered killers (bosses), like Killer #7, Killer #2, ect.

They will need some help and combine forces with a philosophical bartender played by Woody Harrelson.  Nicola has stolen the bartenders wife, played by Demi Moore, and has made her his bitch.  He agrees to help them to get his wife back and the battle lines are drawn.Mayhem ensues and pretty cool artsy fight scenes through out.  The 3 battle their way through the levels of gangs to the final showdown with “The Woodcutter” and Killer #2 played by Kevin McKidd.

This was a pretty cool movie but not my pint of beer for an action flick.  It was like Sin City meets The Warriors meets The 7 Samurai meets Westside Story.  You get the picture.  I appreciated the art that went into the movie but it was kind of hokey.  The acting of course was great, even by Gackt (he look’a like a woman) whose 1st language is definitely not English.  However, the plot and script was just recycled stuff from old Spaghetti Westerns.

It is a cool movie but like I said, not my pint of beer.  You may like it however, rent it but keep your expectations low and you might enjoy it.

I give this movie 3 Beers.

Conan the Barbarian

Conan the Barbarian trailer

Here is a remake I was skeptical on renting to watch. I mean Schwartzenegger owned this role and made it legendary. I will give credit where credit is due.  Jason Momoa is a much better Conan than Arnold.  I know, I know you die hards are saying no “F’”ing way, sorry that’s just my opinion.

Momoa steps into some big shoes to recreate the role of Conan the Barbarian. The movie is almost the same as the original. His mother dies at birth and  his father played by Ron Perlman is slain at the hands of an evil warlord played by Stephen Lang. The evil warlord is on a quest to reunite some ancient mask of power or some shit like that so he will become invincible. Conan swears his life’s mission is to hunt the bastard down and put an end to his reign. Also the evil warlord has an evil witch daughter of course, played by Rose McGowan.  Before he can don the mask it must be consecrated by the blood of a pure one (some little hot virgin which Conan de-flowers).  So the hunt is on and bodies start piling up where ever Conan goes. Until the final show down.

This was not a good movie, it was an ok movie. It is however better than the original but that’s not saying much because the first one was horrible. Momoa does kick ass though and has amazing sword skills. His fighting style looks very natural unlike the robotic moves of Arnold. Lang always plays an awesome villain but McGowan’s witch was like some weird little bitch with daddy issues and Pearlman was surprisingly good as Conan’s father.

This movie was a big disappointment though, the script and direction was so predictable and lame this could have been aired on the SyFy channel. I like the action sequences but unfortunately even Momoa’s skills could not carry this movie.

Oh hell, its Conan, rent it and watch it. It is entertaining but not a great movie at all and probably one of the most disappointing movies released last year. However, it is worth the rental but keep your expectations low and you won’t be let down.

I give this movie 3 Beers.