Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol

Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol

Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) is back to take on yet another impossible mission.  No really this one was really impossible.  He is sent into the freakin Kremlin to steal (really to secure) nuclear launch codes to keep them out of the hands of a rogue nuclear arms agent Kurt Hendricks (Michael Nyqvist).  Well Hendricks beats him to the punch, then blows up the Kremlin!  Hunt and his team are blamed and are now enemies number one and need to get out of Russia and track down Hendricks. The president issued Ghost Protocol, which means they have no support, no access to money, and are to return to Washington D.C. to hang for the bombing.Yeah like Hunt is going to let that happen. The chase leads them to Dubai with his new team of Benji Dunn (Simon Pegg), Jane Carter (Paula Patton) and William Brandt (Jeremy Renner). But they still do their jobs and try to put a stop to this madman’s plan to launch a Russian nuke at the U.S. so that they will retaliate and the world ends in a nuclear war.  Hendricks plan is so the world will right itself and start a new.  Damn, he is like the ultimate eco-terrorist.

This by far was the best of the Mission Impossible series. From the car chases, the shootouts, plot, and of course all the intensity of them trying to pull off their mission made this a very exciting and well done action flick.  The two scenes that made the movie for me alone were: Hunt entering the Kremlin and trying to steal the codes and the climbing up the outside of the world’s tallest building in Dubai.  Intense stuff could not get enough.

The pace of the movie from start to finish will leave you out of breath just watching all the action, the movie had no lull except the very end.  They needed that so they and the viewers could finally rest.  High paced action, ass kicking stunts, and finally a good plot made this film very enjoyable. I think you will totally dig this film.

I give this movie 4 Beers!

Hugo

Hugo

Marin Scorsese takes a break from his violent crime dramas to make this touching family drama.  The movie is set in Paris in the early 1930′s and it is about a boy named Hugo (Asa Butterfield) who was taken away to live with his uncle after his father (Jude Law) dies in a tragic fire.  His uncle (Ray Winstone) is the clock keeper at a Paris train station and is a freakin lush that abandons him (because he fell drunk into a river and drowned) to live in the walls. He has to steal his food and scrape by, always on the look out for the Station Inspector (Socha Cohen).  He steals a mechanical toy from Georges Melies (Ben Kingsley) and is put to work for him to pay back things he has lifted before. He befriends his niece Isabella (Chloe Grace Moretz).  Hugo shows Isabella how he lives and his only thing left from his dad is a mechanical automaton that he has been trying to get it to work again.  He discovers that Melies is the one that actually invented it and that he is a famous film maker that has given up on his craft. Hugo with Isabella’s help try to bring joy back to Geoges life and have him return to the man he used to be.

This film was not what I was expecting at all from Scorsese.  Yes it was a beautifully put together movie and an ok movie but all the Oscar buzz this got was to me unwarranted. The reason it got all the buzz because it was more about Geoges Melies, the pioneer of many early SciFi and fantasy movies such as “A Trip to the Moon” .  He kind of opened the door for how modern-day movies are made today.  The academy of course loves movies like this hence all the hubbub about it.  But when you get right down to it, the movie was just ok.  It is a good family movie.  I thought since the movie was called “Hugo” that it would be about, well, Hugo and it was for the first part of the film.  The rest was all about Melies.

I just thought the movie lost its original story direction which I was surprised with Scorsese directing it.  However, it was an ok movie and an interesting story.  It has enough stuff to keep kids interested and enough to keep adults interested too.  But Oscar worthy? NO!  Plus this movie really is not my pint of beer. The only reason I watched it was all the Oscar buzz it generated and it was directed by Martin “freakin” Scorsese. But check it out it is worth seeing.

I give this movie 3 Beers!

Nazis at the Center of the Earth

Nazis at the Center of the Earth

Ok so the title of this movie intrigued me, that is the only reason I watched this movie. It is another video by Asylum Films. Oh great.  Believe it or not if this film would have had better actors, special effects, and Hollywood style budget this would have been a great movie. But it didn’t.  I mean your star actor was Jake Busey!

I will give some credit for this monstrosity, the story was unique.  A Nazi science officer, Dr. Josef Mengele (Christopher Karl Martin) escapes Nazi Germany just at the fall of Berlin with a special package.  Of all places to escape he and some loyal followers go to some secret base in Antarctica.  Cut to modern times, a science team that is based there discovers them after some of their team go missing.  They soon make the discovery that Herr Dr. has being doing shocking experiments to keep the Aryan race alive to rise again to take over the world with new technology. Like seemingly able to switch out body parts at will, laser guns, robotics, and flying saucers. Whooo hooo! Sieg heils! Whatever.

This movie sucked, but I knew it would.  The acting was so bad, and the special effects forget about it.  One scene they are out in a blizzard but instead of snow blowing around them it was confetti.  I mean you could tell it was, that’s pretty bad not being able to even rent a snow machine.  Dr. Reistad (Busey) was the smarmy heel in the movie and even he was terrible in this.  Plus the fact that they were under the ice shelf in Antarctica and not the center of the Earth,  I hate false advertising!  But I guess Nazis Under the Ice would have been worse.

The saving graces of the movie were: It was a good idea for a movie (just very poorly executed) and there were some really cool gory scenes.  That is why I did not give it 1 Beer rating.

I thought the movie was horrible but if you are into really campy C movies check it out.  If your not stay far away from this one.

I give this movie 2 Beers.

Goon

Goon

I watched this film based on the recommendation of one of my female friends.  So I was a little leery, but knowing her sense of humor I gave it a shot, and was pleasantly surprised.  This was a hilarious movie and actually a great story.  To describe it is kinda like “Slapshot” meets “Forest Gump”.

Doug Glatt (Sean William Scott) is a simpleton from a prominent Jewish family of doctors.  He is super nice and very polite until someone is not so polite or nice to him, or more importantly to his friends.  He beats the crap out of assholes that, to me, deserve it.  One night a hockey recruiter asks him to try out, as an enforcer (even though he has never ice skated before).  His foul-mouthed buddy Ryan (Jay Baruchel) is his number one fan and encourages him on.  He has a love interest Eva (Allison Pill) who is turned on by his violence.  He eventually has to have a show down with the most notorious enforcer in the league Ross Rhea (Liev Schreiber).  Just as in Forest Gump the simpleton will win the hearts of many just because he is who he is.

Jay Baruchel was one of the writers of this movie and did a fantastic job as well as Sean William Scott. Doug’s character was like nothing you have ever seen Sean play and he was fantastic in this role.  I mean at first you feel sorry for him, well because he is a dumb ass, but after you see him defend himself and the honor of his friends, your like hell yeah!  You become a fan.

This was not a gut busting laughing movie, however it will have you rolling in parts of the movie.  The 2 Russians and the Nova Scotian teammates he has will continuously crack you up.  Doug’s school boy attempts to charm Eva are hilarious.  Over all this was a great movie and if you’re any kind of sports fan you can appreciate this kind of comedy, even if you’re not a fan of hockey.  Not only was it a pretty funny movie, it was a good movie and I think you should see it.

I give this movie 4 Beers!

Martyrs

Martyrs

The only reason I rented this French movie was it said it was from the director of “Brotherhood of the Wolf”, one of my favorite films of all time.  However, director Christophe Gans did not direct this movie, Pascal Laugier did, and he directed the TV version. I was like “dammit!” I just got bamboozled.  I was glad though that I did rent this top-notch French thriller.  I had no idea what I was in for as I sat glued to the edge of my seat wondering ” WTF is going to happen next?”

This is the story of a girl Lucie (Meylene Jampanoi) who escapes some warehouse where she had been held captive and tortured.  She goes to some psyche hospital and meets Anna (Morjana Alaoui).  They become best friends for life.  Good thing too because Lucie has some definite issues and has vowed revenge on the people who have done this to her.  The discovery they both make is too gruesome and mind-blowing to comprehend.

I went into this movie not knowing what to expect, and I was blown away.  This is a great thriller, it will have you jumping, and gripping your pillow throughout the film.  Yes it does have lots of shocking and gory scenes, so fair warning.  But the way the movie moves along with Lucie’s character, you are like WTF!  She is batshit nuts, but Anna loyally stays with her.  It keeps you guessing what really happened to screw up Lucie that much. But like you do, Anna does too come to realization that, yep Lucie is crazier than I thought. My only knock on this was, why doesn’t Anna just freakin leave, she had numerous opportunities.  Oh well, I guess she cared too much.

Then with Laugier’s direction the movie takes a drastic and unexpected turn, leads you down a path of utter darkness and suffering that you can’t peel your eyes from.  I won’t say anymore you will have to see for yourself.  It is a French movie so you can watch it dubbed or with English subtitles. Either way this is one creepy thriller that will shock you and have you on edge.

I give this movie 4 Beers!

Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy

Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy

I watched this movie based on my brother’s recommendation.  He said it was really intriguing and exciting.  So I popped it in my queue and took a look-see. Plus it stars one of my favorite actors, Gary Oldman.

It is about MI6 during the cold war, and they have a leak.  After losing an agent and having Agent Prideaux (Mark Strong) captured. The head of this division, known only as Control (John Hurt) and his second in command George Smiley (Gary Oldman) are sent packing for botching the operation.  Control has a mental breakdown and before he dies tells his old friend Smiley that he is to track down this traitor.  So begins the undercover hunt to sniff out the spy who betrayed their own agency.

This movie was loaded with Oscar winners and Oscar nominated  actors so you know the acting in this movie was top-notch!  However, the pace of the movie was really slow and drawn out. Frankly I was rather bored for most of the movie.  I think this is a  case that the book is much better than the movie.  Love Gary Oldman, but an Oscar nomination for his role was very kind by the academy.  His character Smiley never says a word till about 35 minutes into the movie.  Now of course he plays his part well but Oscar worthy, well.  To be fair I have seen people win it for lesser performances.

The movie itself just did not have the suspense and could not convey the intricate details that kept you on edge in the book. So the film just comes off as a half assed attempt at a spy thriller with no thrill.  The movie is intriguing but rather slow, and because of it you kind of get lost in what the actual goal of Smiley is.  If it weren’t for the actors like: Oldman, Hurt, Strong, Tom Hardy, Colin Firth, and Ciaran Hinds.  This movie would have never worked.  It did hold my interest enough to see it through but my eyelids were starting to droop.  Not a great movie but a good one, but judge for yourself.

I give this movie 3 Beers.

Prometheus

Prometheus

Ridley Scott makes his return to the genre that put him on the map as a director with Prometheus.  Yes this is the prequel to his classic SciFi/Horror film Alien.

A group of scientist discover that Earth’s ancient civilizations across the globe have been worshiping an alien race. The scientist Shaw (Noomi Rapace) and her partner Holloway (Logan Marshall Green) get Weyland Industries to foot the bill for a deep space expedition to find them.  Of course they find the planet with the help of the ships robot David (Michael Fassbender).  But Weyland (Guy Pearce) himself is on board along with his daughter Vickers (Charlize Theron) and he and David have a different mission.  The crew soon discovers that they were never supposed to find them and that we were a mistake as a species. WTF? Oh yeah, who made your sorry asses?!  This superior alien race is supposed to wipe us out of existence, so now with the help of Captain Janek (Idris Elba) they must take a stand to stop the alien threat that would wipe out humanity.

Ridley Scott keeps you on the edge of your seat in this one.  I mean this was a great SciFi movie with a great story.  Now don’t expect to have all your questions answered, there are a few holes in the story.  But over all very cool.  Noomi Rapace’s Shaw is basically Ripley in this movie and Michael Fassbender’s David is a much creepier robot than Ash.  The movie is really intense from discovering dead aliens, to live ones, getting caught in a super sand storm, an emergency cesarean, and to stop the destruction of the human race. Awesome SciFi!  I loved the ending to this movie also, not too many movies these days have great endings.  This one does.

I thought the plot was fantastic and really well thought out, yes its the Alien prequel but it’s really not about them.  They are just a by-product of some Alien Biological DNA weapon.  This movie is about why we were created and by who.  The pace of the movie was great and of course the acting was fantastic. I really think Scott out did Alien in this one. This movie invokes a lot of theological thought through out the film and Shaw’s faith is always being tested in the movie.  However, her faith always prevails and when questioned by the smarmy robot David ” even after all this, you still believe?” Shaw replies ” it’s because I choose to!” Powerful stuff.

If you’re a fan of Alien go check it out, if you like SciFi it is a must see.  Even if you are not a fan this a good movie and you don’t need to see Alien before going. This could have been a stand alone movie.  However, I would highly recommend checking out Scott’s 1979 Alien, you will recognize a lot of the scenes in Prometheus if you do. I enjoyed this movie and thought it was well worth seeing.

I give this movie 4 Beers.

Jack and Jill

Jack and Jill

Ok, let me premise by saying I usually like most of Adam Sandler’s movies.  However, this was not one of them.

The movie was based on Adam being twins, Jack and Jill.  Jack is a successful commercial director and Jill is the most annoying, dumbass, waste of a human being.  She comes to visit Jack for Thanksgiving, blah blah blah.

I will just get right to it, this movie SUCKED!  This was one of only 4 movies I actually turned off because I just could not take it anymore.  I had, had enough Jill’s chalk board screeetching voice.  This by far was Adam’s worst movie he has ever made!  As far as I’m concerned it should win worst movie of year, perhaps the past 5 years.

If your planning on watching it, don’t.  I rented it despite the critics warnings, thinking to myself “it can’t be that bad”. Well it was!  Even worse.  Like I said I turned it off 34 minutes in to it.  Not funny, and no point to it! Save your money and buy yourself a beer.

I give this movie 1 Beer.

The Avengers

The Avengers

I have one word for Marvel Comic’s new movie “The Avengers”, A W E S O M E !  Besides Avatar this is the first movie that has lived up to the hype and as a matter of fact it was a much better movie.  This is how a superhero movie is done, thank you Joss Whedon!

Brief over view.  Loki hooks up with some alien baddies, comes to Earth to steal some powerful cube. I don’t know how to pronounce the name or spell it so go see the movie.  He picks a fight with S.H.E.I.L.D. right off the bat and sets out to pit one hero against another so they will fight amongst themselves while he hatches his evil plan.  However, Loki does not know how deep the heroes resolve goes and they come together to take him on and the alien invasion, in a monumental, epic superhero battle to save the Earth.

I can not say enough of how well this movie was made. Where do I begin?  It tied in the stories of the heroes seamlessly from their individual movies.  Joss Whedon did a fantastic job of spreading the script around where all the heroes and villains shined with equal screen time.  The movie’s pace was outstanding, It actually takes you on the journey.  It was not rushed and actually told a story you wanted to be a part of with just the right amount of humor mixed in. I even cheered out loud in a few of the scenes, I felt like a kid again!  That’s how powerful and believable the script and actors were. The special effects, fa ghett about it!  Are you kidding me?  The Hulk was freakin awesome as well as the rest.  It was some of the best special effects to date of any movie (well Avatar still holds that title).  But to see your childhood heroes come to life in the way that Whedon directed this was fantastic!

The acting in this movie by everyone was superb, I mean it.  They take on these roles and brought their characters to life, exceeding expectations.  Hats off to Tom Hiddleston in his portrayal of Loki, an Oscar worthy performance.  Speaking of Oscars, realistically I know this will not be nominated for any except special effects and technical categories. However, I think it is high time that SciFi and Action movies get their due.  It takes more acting, writing, costumes, make up, special effects and effort to make a great movie like this than say, “The Artist” (boring waste of film). Plus millions of people can’t be wrong. Take notice Movie Academy, The Avengers should be nominated for best picture, acting nominations, screen play and director.  That is how good this movie is!  Maybe I am a little biased, but go, go now and see this movie.  Bring the kids (7 and up).  I guarantee you will not be disappointed! Oh stick around after the credits roll for a segue into the next movie! Yes!

I give this movie 5 Beers!

Tower Heist

Tower Heist

This star-studded comedy about a high profile robbery couldn’t miss, right?  It has Ben Stiller, Eddie Murphy, and Matthew Broderick, plus many other accomplished actors.  Well even good actors can fall victim to bad movies.

This was the story of Josh Kovacs (Stiller) who manages one of the most elegant and expensive apartment high rises in New York City.  The building is owned by Arthur Shaw (Alda) who is a Wall Street mogul and seems to be an all around nice guy that cares about his employees.  That is until the FBI show up and try to arrest Shaw for some Ponzi scheme.  Josh soon learns that all the employees pensions are gone including his.  So he hatches a plan with his brother-in-law Charlie (Casey Affleck), new employee Enrique (Michael Pena) and a down on his luck, out of a job investment banker Mr. Fitzhugh (Broderick), to find Shaw’s hidden safe and rob him of his money right under FBI Agent Claire Denham’s (Tea Leoni) nose.  They are not criminals so the need a criminal to help them plan out the robbery, so they get Kovacs’s neighbor Slide (Murphy) to help them out.  They try to pull off the heist of the century with no experience and bickering among each other, the FBI breathing down their necks, and of course Shaw himself cleverly hiding his wealth.

This movie had so much potential, but never really came together.  It was like they tried to be like “Ocean’s Eleven” but all the many different characters never really gel’ed as a cohesive team.  That is what was supposed to make it funny, but it didn’t work.  They took themselves too serious, and the comedy aspect of the movie really never blossomed.  There were a few funny parts but over all not that funny. I mean you had Feris Bueller, The Beverly Hills Cop, and freakin Zoolander this should have been hilarious but it was a flop as a comedy.  The planning they showed them doing was not in any way shape or form of how they really pull off the robbery.  It was like chaotic amateur hour during planning and then when it went down they were like master mind geniuses, WTF?  It just was not believable in any way.  Plus there were just too many unnecessary  characters that played small roles that really had nothing to do with the main part of the story.  Glad they got a paycheck.

It was however a decent movie, it did have good moments of suspense and action and the story was pretty good.  It was just not a great comedy.  If it weren’t for all the stars in the movie that carried it, the film would have been a total failure.  If you want a funny comedy don’t bother.  If you want a mild suspense crime drama with comedic aspects then this is a pretty decent one.

I was just disappointed that it was not funnier, I almost gave this a 2 Beer rating because of it. However, it was an ok movie over all.

I give this movie 3 Beers.